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Thursday, 15 November 2007

Currently Watching
Iconoclasts: Season 2
see related
Welcome Back To Xangaland (And welcome back to having a computer with internet access)

The Man In The (Shitty) Expensive Suit
The ego and stupidity in you tell you to change the world, to do shit that worthy of the name...shit...but you should know that you don't have more than 100 years of life and you most likely will not change shit. Your time is nothing, the entire human history is nothing compared to the nature of the universe. If you have to do something, please, you should do it with a good purpose that works with the universal laws and mankind. Please understand that the world is full of shit and it doesn't need to accumulate any of your shit, even if you think yours smells special. it's still shit, I say fuck you!
Out of my odd and one of a kind life, I have the opportunity to know and to live with many great men that changed history. Men who made miracles happen out of the kind of man who just simply sat and drank all day. I see myself in all of them.

They make me desire the type of a one of a kind life, and at the same time, fear and hate it. But, I already made a promise to myself. It does not matter what I choose to do, who I turn out to be, whether I have money or go broke, I will not die with regrets. I have experienced fame, comfort and jealousy, I have lost those who meant the world to me and I know how things taste on top or at the bottom. But I'm learning to overcome that. After all, I'm more than a "little", I'm more than the things I create, I'm above my mistakes and desires.
There are a kind of men who want success just because someone has refused to give him a buck to buy a toy duck or just because he has experienced a nasty look of his rich friend. There are a kind of men who rise to power because poverty shot him many times in the heart and left scars. There are a kind of men who become legendary because someone has thought he was unworthy. After all, there are a kind of men who want to prove things to people, to acquire wealth and power because of insecurity or to constantly give things freely so people can love him back.
Life taught and showed me those kinds of things and I know I'm not a single one of them. Life gave me a motivation book and said God loves you and wants you to become rich and famous and have an abundant life and I know I'm going to receive any of those things. I saw great men come home exhausted, I saw them build a great prison and put themselves in it, and convince themselves that it was for their own good.
I want to be free, I will only accept those gifts unless you show me a purpose for them. I swear I'll be a bum all my life if you don't do it. It's understandable, I'm just scared. All people see is the man in an expensive suit, they miss the rest (the knocked out, the good stuff)
WILD CHILD COMMENT:
He who knows nothing, loves nothing.
He who can do nothing understands nothing.
He who understands nothing is worthless.
But he who understands also loves, notices, sees...
The more knowledge that is inherent in a thing, the greater the love...
Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries Knows nothing about grapes.
~Paraclesus

(So glad i've got to know someone who struggles so much and seemingly understands so much the significance of the self-confronting questions that take forever to answer)

RESPONSE:
Actually what I said above Is very shallow. I refused to look at the deep root of how society is organized, structured and performed. How the man financed for things and justified the value of stuff responded for many lives under his commands, those "shits" are big commitments. Since most of us are not the man, dont mess our brains up with that shit
(Hmm I don't want to talk about them.)
It's really a big mess, it really is. All things connected, words are really shit, I don't believe anyone could possibly learn and have the knowhow by reading. Those shits really have to come to you naturally
How it comes naturally is always a mystery to me

Monday, 30 April 2007

But Patrick Is Different: (From The Viewpoint Of My 7th Grade Teacher)

Patrick
Is white sneakers and black socks
Pulled up to his knees
Jean shorts and a Hawaiian shirt
He can't for the life of him buttoned straight.
He is multiple decks of Magic the Gathering
Collectable playing cards
And a hair to gel ratio still in its experimental phase

The rest of the class is made up of
Seventh grade celebrity impersonators
Perfect examples to the power
Of product placement
Decked out in rhinestone jeans
And velour sweat suits
That cost more than
What I'm paid to teach their poetry workshop

Patrick is easily the most interesting one out 40 and if I could
I would kick the rest of them out to watch Elimidate in the library
No one likes to admit it
But white trash does not grow on trees
You can look at a 12 year old
And sometimes see the obnoxious idiot
They could one day become
They aren't bad in that
“Grow up and sell crack to preschoolers” kind of way
More of the type to drive a Hummer with a
'Save the Planet' bumper sticker
I don't blame them completely
Jeff McDaniel says
Some people are doomed
Just because their parents had boring sex

But Patrick is different
A ball of nervous ticks and endless Monty Python quotes
That tell me mom and dad got freaky

He knows more about Barenaked Ladies than any human needs to
Has read Lord of the Rings so many times he speaks Elfish
But not one of the assignments he has turned in had
Anything to do with who Brittney kissed or who Ja Rule's got beef with

So he's standing at the front of the room about to read his poem
Clenching his paper like it was god's autograph.
He says
"AHEM,
Ode to my bathroom
I am a roll of toilet paper
and my life is shitty"

Now, to the kids at Mile High Middle School
Shit
Is not just second banana to fuck
It's own atomic bomb of profanity
That sends electromagnetic spasms of laughter
Rippling threw the room.

The twelve-year-old J Lo in the front row
Laughs so hard she snorts
Like a vacuum with a mouse stuck in it
Every day I watch him stare at her
With the unrequited longing you only have
When your still a virgin

He continues
"I was born in a factory
and grew up in a plastic bag
Now I hang next to the magazines and plunger
in the constant fear of ass"

In the back,
Eminem's biggest fan flaps his arm like a palm leaf
welcoming comic Jesus
Last week, he spent the whole period flicking bits of eraser
And calling him a homo until he was about to cry

Now, Patrick’s smiling so wide he can barley speak to
finish the poem.
"But today" he says "I am relieved
Because I can smell the three bean chili
That the family I live with is cooking
and I know the end is near
Thank you"

He sits down to a standing ovation
I shake my head in an awe shucks pendulum

Later he asks me if I was pissed
I said
"Patrick don't let anyone tell you any different
Poetry exists to give the socially awkward
A way to be finally applauded
By their peers"

Monday, 05 March 2007

Currently Listening
Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses
By Slipknot
see related
Suicide Is Nothing Without Pain: (Meant To Be Funny)

My life is shit.
Total shit.
I want to end it.
That's it!
I'll kill myself!
But how?
Let's see now…

I'll kill myself using a razor blade and cut my wrists across to get all the major veins and deep so my wounds won't close up that easily plus in a bathtub full of warm water to help dilate the blood vessels when they find me it'll be like I bathed in Mott's Clamato juice or I'll kill myself swallowing pills the ones from my mothers prescription to calm her nerves or any barbiturates so if I take too many it will make mine so shitty that my brain will turn into one big tumerous broccoli that'll show 'em hey it's the number one way to go for the coolest celebrities and as they say millions of fans can't be wrong but most of them make it through somehow then I'll kill myself buy throwing myself in front of the train at the station but I don't have any change to get through the gate and I don't want to borrow or beg for any besides most people survive and I don't want to be viewed as an amateur no that wouldn't do so I'll kill myself by getting drunk on Jack Daniels and Captain Oh Captain Morgan and then drive at full speed my dad's brand new BMW get high on speed and into a Bell telephone pole that'll show'em oh yeah the gas nearly empty don't have any money on me and gas is so pricey these days (Get out of Irak Georges W.) besides the car is one of the safest in its class so maybe I should park the car on the railroad track instead I'll never know what hit me If I put it dead-center bulls-eye a job well done damn where's the train schedule ok next I'll kill myself by hanging myself with an Armani leather belt or silk tie I'll borrow from my father and he can always wear it at my funeral as a memento but chances of breaking my neck are slim so it's going to be painful â€˜side I don't like choking so I'll kill myself using the electric socket using two copper wires from the cord from the lamp bought at IKEA by mom last week on one of her day long shopping sprees I'll just bite down real hard on the exposed metal tips and electrocute myself with it or may be I'll just put it in the bathtub hmmm too many muscle spasms and I probably again painful like the guy I saw executed in an electric chair I will be excreting a lot of things too so I'll kill myself by just going to the tallest building in town and jump off it easy gravity will do the rest for me with a little help from the ground note to self at least 15 stories high or else I could end up a vegetable instead of pancake (although a crushed watermelon is a better comparison) if only I can get past security they'll probably think I'm a terrorist or something besides I'm afraid of heights so I'll kill myself by breathing car exhaust from our car engine running on premium Shell unleaded in the garage yeah that's it I'll just let it run and inhale unlike Clinton and take it all in and the carbon monoxide will bond with my hemoglobin and I'll mate with death no wait like I said the gas tank's nearly empty damn where's the nitrous oxide when you need it (wish my father was a dentist) so I guess this means I'll kill myself I'll do it the real manly way I'll blow my head off like Mel Gibson tried to in Lethal Weapon with a Beretta 9 mm 15 rounds carrying magazine but I need just one 128 grain jacketed hollow point bullet or maybe a wadcutter yeah that'd be cool I'd bet they get a kick out of it at school Ah CRUD I live in Canada where there's gun control and my father doesn't own one so I'd need registration for a gun have to wait a month probation for the investigation that's too long besides where to get the money and I'm still a minor also note to self my aim is usually shit and this is one thing I don't want to miss ok then I'll kill myself with a hypodermic syringe inject air bubbles in my bloodstream yeah I'll go clinical and create an embolism to block my circulation in the heart pumping air but I must get a very big needle if only I too could get my hands on some insulin or I'll kill myself by drowning like my scuba instructor said it was rumored to be the sweetest kind of death because we sort of return to the fetus days where we breathed liquid so all I have to do is jump in the river with added weight but wait a minute this is winter and the surface is frozen solid I have to wait 'til spring maybe I should just go talk a walk naked and freeze to death by hypothermia but I must find a far way place in the woods so no one can notice me not easy to do in a city so then I'll kill myself by asking someone to do it I don't have money for a hitman and I'm no racist so I can't do Bruce Willis in Die Hard 3 but maybe a Police Officer would oblige if I brandish a weapon or a car-phone or a hairbrush or my genitals in his direction I'll even dress as a minority to get the full treatment 40-50 rounds of ammo and if successful my friends and family can watch me die on 'COPS' but what if the guys in a good mood and doesn't respond to 'Die Pig Die' war cry and throws me in jail with a citation instead then I'll kill myself by ingesting a toxic substance such as a good old household name detergent I'll expect a stomach ache some vomiting I think it's going to be very slow and some do-gooders might try to rescue me and besides puking may save me so then I'll kill myself the top models' way I'll go anorexic and starve myself like the mahatma did only no orange juice for me no siree after 40 days I'll have barely the strength for a heartbeat no wait they'll notice and forcefeed me with the rubber tube down my nose ahh that's too gross besides I think McDonald's has a Bic Mac combo on special this month can't miss out on that so I'll kill myself and turn myself into a Roast Asian style and dowse myself with gas and ignite with a Zippo this should hurt excruciatingly and if I miss I'll wish I was dead ok try something else maybe then I'll kill myself in a blaze of glory (gory) and make a statement crash a truck into building maybe also kill a famous public figure Michael Moore or Rush Limbaugh or Martha Stewart left right center doesn't matter I'll turn myself into human bomb I'll make it big, political and surprise those who never knew me with my well hidden creativity Hey I'll be famous for a few minutes news at eleven on channel five maybe even 60 minutes.

Damn so many ways… so many ways to off myself
Just one thing now…I just can't remember
Why I wanted to do it in the first place?
Maybe I should wait another day…
Or another week
Maybe I'll come up with something really original
That's worth waiting for
Isn't it?

Friday, 23 February 2007

Currently Listening
Feeling Strangely Fine
By Semisonic
see related
Rejection Of Creeds:

We believe in Marx, Freud, and Darwin
We believe everything is OK
As long as you don't hurt anyone
To the best of your definition of hurt
And to the best of your knowledge

We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage
We believe in the therapy of sin
We believe that adultery is fun
We believe that sodomy's OK
We believe that taboos are taboo

We believe that everything's getting better
Despite evidence to the contrary
The evidence must be investigated
You can prove anything with evidence

We believe there's something in horoscopes, UFO's, and bent spoons
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha, Mohammed and ourselves
He was a good moral teacher although we think
His good morals were bad

We believe that all religions are basically the same
Well, at least the one that we read about
They all believe in love and goodness
They only differ on matters of
Creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation

We believe that after death comes The Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens they say Nothing
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied
Then it's compulsory heaven for all
Excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Khan

We believe in Masters and Johnson
What's selected is average
What's average is normal
What's normal is good

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between
Warfare and bloodshed
Americans should beat their guns into tractors
And the Iraqis would be sure to follow

We believe that man is essentially good
It's only his behavior that lets him down
This is the fault of society
Society is the fault of conditions
Conditions are the fault of society

We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him
Reality will adapt accordingly
The universe will readjust
History will alter
We believe that there is no absolute truth
Excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth

We believe in the rejection of creeds

Wednesday, 07 February 2007

was cast in Chicago last night...
it was a fabulous audition!
over 150 people showed up to tryout for this show...unbelieveable!
i just hope we get that many for the Shakes Fest...
anyways, i didn't get Billy Flynn (sadly)
first time though a director told me i was too young for the part...i found it relieving actually
i didn't go in there knowing i wasn't going to get Billy, but i knew that at some point during the audition process that that statement was going to make it's way out of Ms. Knight's mouth...so i didn't find it suprising at all...but rather something i've been wanting to hear for a while.
Chicago goes up in May...so i'll let everyone know on here right now that yes...it is my only conflict with doing the Shakes Fest (as usual) but i am in one way shape or form be a part of this years festival!
good day to you sir.